i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
