the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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