let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
