her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want nice things and good sex
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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