Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The adults are the big ones right?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
