I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
