mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
