I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
