Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
be right there i have to get my cape
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
