stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
