i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
