my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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