I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
