and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
