His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
