Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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