he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
