So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
