ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
