At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
