just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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