Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
