Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
