You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can text with my tongue
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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