I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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