Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
