in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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