is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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