I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
