I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
