there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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