If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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