On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
