you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
