I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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