Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
