i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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