he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
