New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
