sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
