Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
