It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
