speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
