I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
