I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
