People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
