the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
