check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
