could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
