I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
