I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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