the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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