this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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