Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
