Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
